How Play Supports Regulation, Development & Connection

There’s a lot of pressure on children now.

Pressure to sit still.
To keep up.
To learn earlier.
To cope better.
To move through busy days that are often full of school, appointments, therapies, transitions and expectations.

And somewhere in all of that, play can start to feel a bit… optional.

Like something children do once the important things are finished.

But play is important.

Honestly, I think we underestimate how much children are actually doing when they play.

Because while it might look like “just messing around” from the outside, play is often how children regulate, connect, learn and process the world around them.

Especially for neurodivergent kids.

Play and Regulation

When people talk about regulation, they often picture calm, quiet activities.

But in real life, regulation does not always look calm.

Sometimes it looks like:

• jumping across the couch
• crashing into cushions
• digging holes outside
• spinning
• pacing around the house
• making a huge mess
• repeating the same game over and over again
• building things just to knock them down again

A lot of children regulate through movement, sensory input and play.

And honestly, once you start looking at play through that lens, so many things make more sense.

That child who comes home from school and instantly starts climbing the furniture?
Their nervous system might be trying to reorganise itself after holding it together all day.

The child who keeps asking to play the same game repeatedly?
They might be looking for predictability and safety.

The child who seems “wild” after school?
Sometimes their body is asking for movement and sensory input before it can settle.

Play can be incredibly regulating because it allows children to meet sensory and emotional needs in a natural way.

Play Is Doing More Than We Think

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about play is that learning only happens when something looks educational.

But children learn through play constantly.

They are building skills the entire time, even when it looks messy or chaotic to us.

When children climb, balance, swing and move, they’re developing body awareness, coordination and motor planning.

When they build cubbies or create imaginary worlds, they’re using creativity, planning, flexibility and problem solving.

When they play pretend, they’re exploring emotions, communication and social understanding.

Even repetitive play often has a purpose.

Sometimes children repeat things because they’re mastering a skill.
Sometimes because it feels predictable and safe.
Sometimes because their nervous system genuinely needs it.

Play is not separate from development.
Play is development.

Play and Connection

Some of the best moments of connection with children happen through play.

Not sitting across from them asking questions.
Not trying to “fix” things.

Just being alongside them.

Reading together.
Building together.
Joining in on a silly game.
Watching them explain something they love.
Letting them lead for a while.

And I think that matters a lot.

Because children often connect best when they feel safe, relaxed and unpressured.

Play gives them a way to do that.

And for many children, play is communication.

I Think Children Need More Time to Just Be Children

This is probably the part I keep coming back to lately.

So many children seem exhausted.

So many families are exhausted.

Everything feels very structured and scheduled and outcome-focused.

And while support absolutely matters, I also think children need time to:

• move
• imagine
• create
• be bored
• make mess
• laugh
• explore
• play without every moment needing to “achieve” something

Because play is not wasted time.

It supports emotional wellbeing.
It supports nervous systems.
It supports learning.
It supports connection.

And honestly, sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is give children space to play in the way their body and brain actually need.

At The Sensory Sloth, we’ll always believe that play matters.

Not because childhood should look perfect or Pinterest-worthy, but because play is often where some of the most important work of childhood is happening.

Written by Liz Piggott
Liz is a social worker, autism and ADHD mum, and the owner of The Sensory Sloth